A Subway-less Summer

The MBTA has decided to do work on the Green "D" Line this summer, which means it will be impossible to get from Newton Centre into downtown Boston without having to get off the subway at some point and get on a bus and then get back on another train. This pretty much ruins the summer city outing scene for my family, because taking the T really made outings an event, saved on parking, etc. But all of that on-off-on-off-on-off is just too much nonsense for the already VERY slow Green line. Given that the above-ground Green line is more attractive during the warm-weather months, as well as the increase in city-bound suburbanites when the kiddies are on vacation, why did they have to do this now?

The MBTA seemed like they were starting to figure things out with the introduction of the Charlie Cards, adjusting the T-pricing for us suburbanites and updating the outside station shelters. Of course, it still takes WAY too long to actually take the T anywhere useful (for example, it would take me more than one-and-a-half hours to take the T from Newton Centre to Quincy Center [where I now have the pleasure of working every day] compared to a 35-minute/15-mile drive).

FMI Observations

Just got back from the Food Marketing Institute trade show in Chicago. This is the first event as part of my new career in the retail media industry and it was definitely eye-opening. Part of my duties involved manning a pod in the StoreNext booth, where to my left was El Monterrey handing out taquitos and margaritas and to my right was the Unilever booth. The Unilever booth was showing Axe Body Spray and Wishbone Salad Spray. I had to wonder if they were mixing them up from the same ingredients in the back. The Unilever booth also featured commercials running on a continuous loop on a flatscreen display right in front of me. This one was in seriously heavy rotation.



Edamame, agave, acai, pomegranate and goji were all hot items. There was also a plethora of tea-based carbonated energy drinks. I did have a Budweiser malt offering that was blueberry-pomegranate flavored that was quite tasty. I also tasted some chocolate hemp milk which tastes about as good as it sounds. There were several straw-based drink flavoring solutions that did not really work very well.

Purecart offered a shopping cart sanitation car wash which was kind of clever, but the lasting image for me was Snoop Dogg Dog Toys.

Overkill of Disaster Movies Makes It Hard to Care for Survivors

Thanks to digital cable, DVR and some downtime I've watched Poseiden and The Day After Tomorrow recently. Both movies are similar in many ways: directed by native Germans, have Emmy Rossum as the female lead and feature a shocking amount of death in the opening act. We're then expected to care about six or so of the survivors and their quest to outlast the horrors that have claimed thousands or millions of lives already. Quite honestly, after having an entire cruise ship or half of the northern hemisphere of the planet wiped out, I could care less about a few hangers-on. Are their lives supposed to be that much more important than all of the others who perished? Now, "The Day After Tomorrow" was interesting in how global warming played out, Poseiden was just kind of stupid, but at least the effects were believable. These movies are not alone in this scenario where we are asked to ignore the many and worry about the few, but they're pretty good examples of the reverse thinking we're usually asked to take (such as sacrificing a small number of innocents to protect that larger masses).

Of course, at the same time, I do watch "Jericho" which is about the survivors of a massive series of nuclear strikes in some random town in Kansas. However, I couldn't care less about the people in the town, but rather the larger arc of who set off the bombs and how the country reacts to the anarchy that ensues. THAT is interesting. What happens to a couple thousand people in Kansas after 20 major cities were nuked? Not so much.

Another Quality Off-Beat Sitcom Dies Too Soon

Andy Barker, P.I., had more laugh-out loud moments in its first four episodes than an entire season of most sitcoms, yet it somehow didn't manage to crack NBC's otherwise solid Thursday night line-up. I thought it was right up there with "My Name is Earl" in the wacky characters being driven by the well-meaning namesake of the show. It's a shame the networks don't give these gems a chance to build a following, and it can't have been that expensive to produce.

March Madness Housing Madness

This Washington Post article details how housing for the teams participating in the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament is determined by the team seedings. The net-net is that the higher seeds get the better hotels, but instead of it being that the top seeds are in a Marriott and the bottom seeds are in a Hyatt, it's more like the top seeds are at the Four Seasons and the bottom seeds are at a Motel 6 the next town over. This is just wrong. All of these games are being hosted in cities of a decent size (I mean, they need a 15K+ seat basketball arena) and putting some in a dump while the others are in a fancy hotel just isn't fair. I know the NCAA caters to the big power conferences, but some of those 10 and 11 seeds come from the Big 10, Big 12 and Big East, too. I'm sure the Illinois team (a 12-seed this time around) is probably a bit ticked off they had to stay in a place so much worse than their higher seeded brethren, for example. It seems like this would be really easy to fix and the NCAA should be ashamed of such outright favoritism.

So What Exactly IS an Emergency

Earlier this week, I had the misfortune to cut my hand badly enough that I needed to go to the emergency room. I went to Newton-Wellesley's brand new ER, actively bleeding, but not expecting to be seen right away since you never are. However, amid the brand new chairs, the flat screen TVs, the wood styling and vaulted ceilings, I noticed that I was the only person actually "wounded" in the whole place. Sure, there were other people that didn't look that great, but there were no other bandages, no limping, no fluids spilling onto the tile floor. From the time I first signed in until I was treated it was EXACTLY three hours. During that time, a nice woman for the hospital explained that all cuts were "fast-tracked" but there had been a lot of ambulances coming in which was why the flow of people in the waiting room actually being treated was pretty much nil. When I finally saw the doctor, I asked her what would have gotten me in any faster, and her response was that if I had actually severed my digit, I might have been bumped up a few spots. I also noticed that this woman was the ONLY doctor actually in the ER. There were plenty of people to take your blood pressure or get your insurance card, but not actually treat you. So while the hospital is patting its back on how nice the facility is, I would gladly sit in the old, dingy waiting room and give that money to actual healthcare providers who could speed up the throughput on the place. It, of course, goes without saying that there is also the chronic problem of folks coming to the ER when they should just go see a primary care physician, but that's a whole other story.

Why is Dunkin' Hiring Rachel Ray

Why in all that is donut holey is Dunkin' Donuts hiring Rachel Ray as a spokesperson? Dunkin' Donuts doesn't need any celebrity endorsements, it's whole appeal is being the food of the working stiff, and how does having the omni-present Ray hawking munchkins help anyone? She is more over-exposed than Emeril (she's on the boxes of Ritz and Triscuits in my pantry for some reason) and she, you know, cooks! Isn't the point of going to Dunkin' that I don't have to make my own food, or even my own coffee? Her whole message is how easy it is to cook! So unless the hook will be DIY recipes that have Dunkin' pastries as a main ingredient, I don't quite see the allure of bringing her on-board.

Boston Continues Overreacting to Aqua Teen Stunt

As if the City of Boston hadn't embarrassed itself enough with the whole Aqua Teen nonsense and their humorless approach to the aftermath, the city council is now looking to legislate their way to avoiding these incidents from reoccurring by licensing marketers. While this is another laughable response, it is also completely unrealistic to implement (how do you decide who is a marketer - if I put the name of my business on my delivery truck, am I a "marketer"?) and will make Boston a backwater that national outfits decide isn't worth the additional expense to even bother advertising here.

Dunkin' Devotion

This Boston Phoenix article delves into the unique connection between New Englanders and their favorite purveyor of coffee and pastries. Since I moved to the Boston area I have always been a huge fan of Dunkin' Donuts, both from the consumer experience (their stuff tastes good), as well as admiration for the way they do business. I even did my major paper for my MBA on the threat of Starbucks and Krispy Kreme to their dominance. One thing they do mention in the article is that they do switch up their menu depending on locations of their franchises. And although I have seen them on the streets of Rome and the subways of Barcelona, it was only on a recent visit to Puerto Rico that I noticed a difference in their menu, when I treated my family to a pineapple, a guava and a quesito donut on our outing to Fajardo.

"Las Vegas" without James Caan?

The NBC guilty pleasure Las Vegas will be back next season but WITHOUT James Caan, who runs the Montecito (the fictional casino that is the focal point of the show).


Although it is an ensemble cast, James Caan is the absolute best part of the show, and I have an awfully hard time imagining it being nearly as funny without him. We'll definitely give it a shot, but I predict a huge drop-off.

Line Leader Laugh

Kindergartner Being Groomed For Line-Leader Position

Crowning my four-year-old the Line Leader is often one of the few ways to get her to go along willingly with certain activities, so I found this Onion piece quite humorous.

Nashville Star-less

Nashville Star is the official family program in our house - all four of us watch every (DVR'd) episode. We all love country music. It's 99% family friendly. The musicians are actually talented and the judges are trying to get the best out of them and not just score zings or upstage the hosts (like American Idol).



With only one episode to go this season, it's clear that the brother-sister finalists will definitely be around for a while, however this NY Times article points out that Nashville Star is missing a bona fide breakout star to really put it on the map. I thought for sure last year's winner, Chris Young, would've been huge by now, but for some reason he hasn't cracked the country music rotation. I'd like to think that this season's winner might get over the hump, but somehow I don't think they're the polished package Nashville is looking for.

Guest Directors for The Office... Why?

The last two weeks have featured Joss Whedon (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) and J.J. Abrams (director of Alias and Lost) directing episodes of The Office. While I realize that a) every episode needs someone to direct it and b) a guest director might be a nice promotional thing, this seems to go against the very nature of The Office. It is supposed to be a documentary, and every clip we are shown is supposed to be captured by a real film crew working with the folks at Dunder Mifflin. SO, if we buy into this premise, every episode should LOOK exactly the same (as far as camera angles and the production goes). So, bringing in someone to guest direct just seems kind of silly. Now, having someone come in to write an episode would be interesting, but even then there are so many story arcs to consider there's little leeway in doing anything major (you can't have Dwight get his hand chopped off or anything like that).

Personally, I think guest directors can have the best impact on procedurals (i.e. Law and Order, CSI) where they can shake up the presentation of what is a pretty stale formula at times (Law and Order: CI seems to have been doing this lately and it has definitely enhanced the quality of the show).

What's With the Sugarland Dude?

Sugarland used to be a trio, then one of the members left, leaving Jennifer Nettles (lead singer) and Kristian Bush (guitarist/mandolinist) to carry on and make many big hits and lots of money. Nettles might not have the most range, but she IS Sugarland at this point. I could see the value of Bush if they sang true duets or he was playing some mean guitar, but as the video for their latest single "Settlin'" clearly shows, the guy is barely playing rhythm guitar and his vocals are rarely all that audible.

I imagine that even if he's writing most of the songs that Nettles will tire of splitting all that cash with Bush and she could easily go solo without missing a beat. It's time for him to start adding some value or step out of the spotlight and sit back with the rest of the uncredited backup band members.

Everyone Looks Bad in Aqua Teen Aftermath

Last week's hysterical/sad/alarming Aqua Teen Hunger Force ad campaign gone horribly wrong (or right, depending on your objectives) has since made pretty much all parties look bad. Turner initially wimped out with a meaningless statement, then eventually ponied up $2 million to cover the costs of the over-zealous reaction by the Boston-area authorities. The artists are starting to look pretty bad, now that it's come out they were filming the chaos instead of alerting someone that there were not any bombs (while it is comical, it also did cost a lot of money, a lot of stress, delayed many people trying to go about their business and someone could have been hurt during the "disarming" process). And, of course, the city of Boston comes off looking completely humorless in this whole endeavor, not to mention the aura of paranoia.

Time for a New Sheepskin

My older daughter has been sleeping on a sheepskin for most of her four years. She is extremely attached to it, and twirls it with a moderate level of ferocity while she is sleeping, and during other passive moments. (The more portable Moomi will get his own post in due time). However, lately her sheepskin has literally been falling apart. Small fuzzy bits abound, sticking to your clothes, etc., a huge chunk fell off the other day.

I approached the inevitable demise of Sheepskin - and make no mistake, Sheepskin is anthropomorphized every bit as much as any doll or stuffed animal - with a bit of trepidation. However, my daughter surprised me by being totally open to the idea as long as Sheepskin II was bigger - because she can't get her toes on the current model now that she's a whole 38" tall.

So, this weekend we will head off to the land of IKEA to fetch a Ludde (apparently IKEA-an for sheepskin). Hopefully he will become as much a part of the family ensemble as his dear, crumbling predecessor.

Prediction: Turner Broadcasting Will Be Spending Money in Beantown

After shutting down most of Boston today with their Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing stunt, I'm thinking that Turner Broadcasting is going to be in some serious trouble. My only question is what kind of goodwill will those big boys from Atlanta be doling out. Maybe a CNN Center for the Homeless? The TBS School for the Deaf? A TNT Greenway addition? I just can't see them NOT being obliged to do some serious mea culpa action.

Plus, what took them so long to come forward? The "packages" first appeared this morning, but it wasn't until the 6 o'clock news that they were making a statement? I'm sure there were quite a few lawyers in on this one:

The ''packages'' in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger. They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim’s animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force. They have been in place for two to three weeks in Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. Parent company Turner Broadcasting is in contact with local and federal law enforcement on the exact locations of the billboards. We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger.

Way to avoid taking any responsibility or showing any remorse!

Top 5 Reasons to Root for the Bears on Sunday

Like most people outside of the Midwest, I have no natural rooting inclinations for a game between two cities I have zero connection with. However, there is absolutely no question that I will be on the edge of my seat every time Rex Grossman drops back to pass. That's because I don't want the Bears to lose, because that means Indy wins, which is bad because:

1. Peyton Manning should never win the Super Bowl. I mean EVER. I am so tired about how he's due, or he deserves it. You should never expect to get a title, you have to earn it. And for someone who has had plenty of chances, he's never been able to capitalize. So, in my book, he's an underachiever when it really counts, and having a ring might let him off the hook, which would be a shame because...

2. Peyton Manning is the most over-commercialized athlete since Michael Jordan. I don't know how he finds time to "study so much film" when he's so busy being captured on it pimping various products and services in completely unoriginal ways.

3. Tony Dungy should never win the Super Bowl. He is a terrible playoff coach, all the way back to his Tampa Bay days when he had the team so close but could never get it done and then Gruden pulls it off the first year after taking over.

4. The Colts shouldn't win because of what they did to Baltimore, sneaking out of town in the middle of the night to go to a smaller market. Unforgivable.

5. Adam Vinatieri should never win another Super Bowl. He should have retired a Patriot. He broke up the good karma. He was a legend in Boston, and as a kicker, that's quite an accomplishment. Now it'll always be a bit tarnished since he went to the Colts.

*Note: I do not give one reason why the Bears should win. I don't particularly like them. They have an OK defense and, um, maybe now people will shut up about the '85 Bears who couldn't even get into a 2nd Super Bowl for all of their greatness.

24's Atomic Clock Still Ticking

Intriguing tidbit on how the "24" storyline has the current season in 2012. While I applaud the writers' commitment to not throwing the time-space continuum out of whack (although apparently no one uses the bathroom or eats in the future), it is kind of odd that everyone is using five-year-old mobile phones and there are no new cars on the highways.

Of course, if Jack Bauer and company were cruising along in futuristic cars and shooting laser guns at the bad guys the show would be dubbed "sci-fi" or get lost in the clutter of near-future gadgetry. So, there's no ideal way to handle the issue, but it does at least explain how they're on their sixth president (pre-Palmer I; Palmer I; Died-in-a-plane-crash; evil-weenie-former VP; evil VP's VP; and now Palmer II) in as many seasons.

Sprint Monetizes White Lies

Sprint has always been a thought-leader in the mobile content domain, but I must say this is a pretty ballsy move in officially supporting an application that's only purpose is deception. The MobileFaker app lets you receive self-directed fake calls, give out fake numbers, etc., mostly for the purpose of avoiding awkward social situations. If this is inside the "walled garden," you have to wonder what it is they're trying to keep out.